Caught in a bad romance
by ViciousLies
Summary: He left his dignity behind as he left again for the other teen. But he didn't mind to be broken again. Or did he? 5980, drama, maybe some angst


**...It's me again.**

**Thanks to my free time I am being very creative 8D**

**This time it's something new, it's not fluff, but more like drama and a little angst maybe?**

**Disclaimer**: Still not mine.

**Warnings**: 5980, mentions of sex, bad Goku, sad Yama

**Dedication**: to -Aunty Soshul- cuz 80 can be sooo uke 3

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It's quite short, but I like it just the way it is

Loving Gokudera has never been easy. Though he looked so delicate from the outside, his personality sure was the opposite.

He was tough, stubborn but strong.

He was arrogant. Sarcastic and sadistic. And Yamamoto surely came to know all these sides of the silver haired teen.

When ever he was around the storm guardian, he'd receive a sneer, an insult or a punch right in the face. But Yamamoto knew that this was not all Gokudera was about. His smile was something the black haired teen really adored. That smile Tsuna always got from the Italian. Tsuna was special to Gokudera Hayato, he was the reason the silverette boy even put up with him in the first place.

It was always Tsuna for Gokudera.

_Guardami. Quando tu mi guarderai finalmente? E solo me?_

Loving Gokudera was not easy. He learned it the hard way soon enough. He learned it every time, over and over again.

Being on his trembling knees, touching the other, pleasing him, sucking him off.

Every time he had to be taught anew. He didn't mind though.

_Mi vedrai mai?_

When Gokudera was finished with him, he'd push Yamamoto away, a smirk gracing his features when he'd tell him to get lost, cuz he suddenly was an eyesore to the other's sparkling green orbs.

Every time Gokudera had fucked him, he didn't dare to call it 'lovemaking', because he wasn't touched by the silver haired teen even once throughout their sessions, he'd leave Yamamoto panting, exhausted.

But to Yamamoto it didn't matter. He wanted this. He wanted to be used, to be needed.

_Hai mai avuto bisogno di me realmente?_

So he tried. Showing up at the other teen's door in the middle of the night, and leaving shortly after he had satisfied the storm guardian.

He needed this.

He needed to see the look of pure bliss on Gokudera's face when he came deep inside of him, thrusting mercilessly into Yamamoto, not even bothering to make the rain guardian feel good, too. Gokudera never cared.

He needed to see this expression, this honest smile, that would always be enough to yank him over the edge, whispering the Italian's name when he'd cum. He would never risk crying it out loudly, though he knew that he would have to leave Gokudera's apartment even faster than usual, if he'd really do so.

_Ti è importato di me? Almeno una volta?_

And Yamamoto knew he was addicted to the smaller teen. He knew oh so well what power the other actually possessed over him. That he'd do it again and again if the other demanded it.

Somehow he wondered of there was any dignity left of him. But the thought was dismissed a second after. He didn't care as long as he had that special smile of Gokudera, because he knew that this smile was for him alone and not even Tsuna has ever seen it.

It was _his _smile.

He tried and tried so hard even though he already knew that he had lost from the very start. He would never win against Tsuna.

Yet, he was determined not to give up.

_Sorridi per me. Per favore._

Maybe after the next time he showed up at the other's doorstep.

_Apri la tua porta per me_

Maybe after the next time he spread his legs oh so willingly.

Just maybe after the next time he came with Gokudera's name on his unkissed lips.

_Mi vuoi baciare?_

Perhaps then plain fucking would become lovemaking?

Maybe then Gokudera would love him, too?

Would Gokudera look at him, like he looked at Tsuna? With a smile on his face?

Watch Yamamoto as the rain guardian watched him every day?

See his dull eyes and realize how broken he had made the other? Realize that he hadn't touched his baseball bat for months?

_Puoi smetterla di distruggermi?_

Finally understand that it was Gokudera who he needed to breathe? Understand that Gokudera was his puppeteer?

Maybe he would.

Yamamoto grinned at his thoughts. He already knew that the day Gokudera would see and understand him would never come.

But he didn't care anymore. He starred at his cellphone

→ _I give you 10 minutes ←_

He stood up, leaving behind dignity and pride and freedom.

He would be back in two hours anyway, crying like he always did after being fucked and used, but not once kissed.

**~Fini~**

Translation in same order as mentioned in text:

_Look at me. When will you finally look at me? And only me?_

_Ever see me?_

_Ever need me for real?_

_Care for me? Just once?_

_Smile for me, please?_

_Could you stop destroying me?_

Haha. Believe it or not, a non-fluff fic from me xD

Anyway plz tell me how it turned out?

Cuz I am used to write fluff and this time I tried to do the opposite |D

so plz review?

I will do some more fluff, cuz hanashiki asked me to.

Thank you again to harukay0u for being my Italian dictionary 3 I would have never been able to finish this with out you! I luv yu 333


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